It often feels difficult to ask people to use the correct pronouns for me, especially since I use they/them/theirs. Thankfully, all you need to do to get it right is ask! Be sure to offer up your own pronouns when you do.
Merriam-Webster came out in support of the singular “they” in 2016, and the American Dialectic Society, a group of professional linguists, voted it their 2015 “ Word of the Year.” While there’s been some controversy around the use of gender-neutral pronouns - particularly the use of they/them/theirs as a singular pronoun as opposed to a plural one - public acceptance of the singular “they” has grown in the past several years.
Getting a person’s pronouns wrong is a fairly common example of misgendering. It can help a trans person and the people in their lives start to see them as their affirmed gender.
When you misgender someone, you also run the risk of outing them to other people. “When someone misgenders me at school I just get this shock of painful tension throughout my body.” “Where I’m at school now there are way less trans and nonbinary folks, no visible trans community, and while our equity training included a video on pronouns, none of my professors or colleagues have ever asked what my pronouns are,” N., 27, said.
In many cases, people make assumptions about their gender based on what’s listed on their IDs. In scenarios where government IDs need to be presented - such as at government offices, in schools, and in hospitals - people who haven’t changed their gender markers can be subject to misgendering. 67 percent didn’t have any ID with their affirmed gender listed. Trans Survey, only 11 percent of people surveyed had their gender listed on all of their government IDs. And in some states, you must have undergone specific surgeries in order to do so.Īccording to the National Center for Transgender Equality’s 2015 U.S. The Transgender Law Center’s report on changing gender markers reveals that in some states it isn’t possible to change your gender on documents such as driver’s licenses and birth certificates. Misgendering can also occur in situations where government identifications are used.
There are a number of reasons why misgendering happens.įor example, people may notice that a person has primary or secondary sex characteristics and make assumptions about that person’s gender.